While the panic rushes in at moments, I have discovered ways to find calm. A search on YouTube of "relaxation video" will bring up images of meadows and streams, with a soothing voice instructing your breathing. Cooking my very first pot roast on Sunday gave me a sense of accomplishment that could only be outmatched by a mastery of the Rule Against Perpetuities (Weird coincidence - my twin in Maine was also cooking her very first pot roast that afternoon.) Laughing with my friends about the students they branded "the diaper people" (those who during an 8-hour take home exam will choose adult diapers over a 30-second bathroom break) instilled a sense of perspective. I read an article in the New York Times today about a man who is set to be executed in Texas who has an IQ between 68 and 86 - this reminded me of some of the reasons I am training to be a lawyer. Even though I am sure these next two weeks will be trying, I know there is nowhere else I would rather be.
We jokingly referred to Trinity as "the Bubble" in college. Here I feel as protected as I did there, and perhaps even as insulated. Yet law school carries with it a sense of engagement in the "bigger picture." For me, this idea is incredibly grounding during this intense period of study and preparation. I am preparing for the class exam, but at the same time and more importantly, I am preparing for a profession that is fundamentally integral to our society and our sense of justice as a people.
And now, back to the studying.